Friday, October 19, 2007
On Wednesday the ever-credible New York Post reported that Khadijah Farmer, a transgendered lesbian, filed a suit against a restaurant in Manhattan’s West Village for tossing her out of the ladies room. As only the Post could publish, the headline read “Manly Lesbian Sues for Ejection.” The incident took place back in June at the Caliente Cab Co. Mexican restaurant, where Farmer dined after attending the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Pride Parade. So as manly as she is on a normal day, you can only imagine how manly she must have looked on transgender pride day. As the Post reports, Farmer, on her way into to the ladies room, crossed paths with what we’d call a “typical” lady, or a female who adheres to the normative standards of femininity. This woman found a bouncer who adheres to the normative standards of Mexican bouncer and told him that a “man”, Farmer, had just entered the ladies’ room. The bouncer, unaware that the LGBT parade would bring many Ls, Gs, Bs and Ts to the restaurant, barged into the bathroom and began pounding on the stall door. The lawsuit says, “The bouncer yelled through the stall doors that he had been told there was a man in the women’s restroom, and demanded that Ms. Farmer leave the restroom and the restaurant immediately.” And 4 months later, Farmer files suit for embarrassment, humiliation and emotional distress. It hasn’t yet been confirmed whether Farmer was taking a leak or a dump, a fact that interests me, but wholly immaterial to the lawsuit. I suppose even the most manly of women have the right to use the ladies’ room without a big Mexican bouncer disrupting her. But I would say this. If you are a woman, like Farmer, whose entire outward appearance conflicts with normative standards of gender, don’t be angry when you actually fool people and they react accordingly. Because that seems to be what happened at the Caliente Cab Co. The bouncer reacted to a situation that appeared to be a situation to which he needed to react. And while Farmer has the right to appear however she wishes, as a man or a woman or whatever, she has to acknowledge that the majority of the world uses appearance to make, or in this case, rush to judgments. Not every mistake is a violation of human rights or the basis of an emotional distress lawsuit. And if Farmer doesn’t conform to society’s gender roles, it’s interesting that she’s so bent on conforming to normative restroom practices. While West Village men’s rooms at Mexican restaurants might not boast the nicest stalls, Ms. Farmer might find herself a more peaceful experience there. I doubt any man would complain.
